Imagine life if there were no family issues. If extended family never created drama, adult children could co-exist with their parents and in-laws without conflict. There are no money issues.
Suppose children could be raised without other members of the family lecturing and offering unsolicited advice if everyone resolved conflicts and common family problems without the stress or need for professional advice.
Unfortunately, most of the above are unrealistic, and anyone who tries to convince you that their family fits the above description is also probably trying to sell you something.
Family Issues Meaning
Family issues refer to bad relationships among family members, inappropriate behaviors of some members, frequent disagreements about routines and patterns in their daily life, or persistent struggles that the family faces.
These issues have varying degrees, which dictate how long it may take for the family to deal with and solve the problems. For instance, a family issue regarding the division of chores may be dealt with quickly.
In contrast, an issue of verbal abuse and physical violence could lead to traumatic experiences, which are more difficult to address and solve.
Any matter that disrupts or prevents the harmonious relationship of the family members and produces stressful events is considered a family issue and, therefore, should be addressed to avoid a long-term negative impacts.
In this article, we’ll outline some of the most common family problems and offer advice and resources to remedy family issues. Family relationships are complicated, so if you cannot relate to an exact scenario or example laid out here, feel free to use it as a guideline rather than a rule book.
Financial Problems
There are very few families and not many parents who can raise children or get by in life with no money problems or issues. Children are costly to raise. The cost of living is consistently going up at an alarming rate.
Family members see less of each other because the adults have to work so much to support their families.
Parents struggle to maintain the relationship because they are so focused on supporting their younger children, and conflict and fighting over many things become routine. Feelings end up hurt or pushed aside altogether when money is the issue in a family because it’s all that is focused on.
It’s easy to blame each other for debt or poor budgeting. It’s easy to see the challenges of saving money and paying bills as something that the other person doesn’t care enough about.
When your life seems focused on money, specifically, the lack of it, partners fight, mental health suffers for everyone in the family, and the ability to communicate effectively flies right out the window and few are interested in seeking to resolve these conflicts, which just causes additional family problems.
Address the Issue Without Placing Blame
If your family has issues with finances, the best plan of action is a plan made together. Do everything you can to avoid placing blame. Focus on the problem and create a space where both adults are heard. Discuss and develop a plan to get you back on track.
Ask for help from friends or family if you need it. Be honest with your spouse.
Are you living outside of your means? What can you do to cut back on expenses? Does someone need to take the lead on the household budget?
You’ll find a middle ground when you address the issue as a team and don’t play the blame game. Money creates tension, and blame causes pain that isn’t going to help or improve the situation. Tell yourself that you can work together to fix the issue, not because you can, but because you must.
When you have a common enemy (debt), it is much easier for married people or partners to work together rather than against each other.
Mental Health Issues
One in five adults suffers from mental health issues in America. There are many kinds of mental health disorders that a person can either have or develop over time. When a family member has a mental illness, conflicts and issues can and usually do arise.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
In most cases, outside help is needed when there is a mental illness in the family. When someone has depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any other disorder, the best thing is to seek professional help.
Individual therapy, family therapy, and medication are often helpful. When one family member is suffering, it doesn’t take long before there are issues for the entire family and it ends up affecting the family dynamics.
An affordable and convenient option to find a suitable therapist is Online-Therapy where you can speak with a therapist from the comfort of your own home.
Divorce
Dissolution of marriage almost always creates family problems. Not only is there the conflict that caused the separation in the first place, but if there are kids, that often makes things even more complicated.
Conflict develops over which parent the children live with, parents argue over which holidays they will get with their kids, and there is chaos among family members as both sides of the family take sides.
Family problems such as these need the perspective of a mediator much of the time and may even need to involve family therapy or professional advice.
Focus on What’s Important
Everyone has a side, and both sides should be heard, but it is important to remember in these situations that we should spend our time focused on what is best for everyone involved, rather than fighting about petty things that only play into the issues.
If there are children involved in the divorce, it’s vital not to fight, argue and discuss issues around the divorce with the children.
That’s not to ignore that something is changing for them, but limiting their exposure to any toxic behavior and keeping the issues away from them should also be a focus point.
Adoption and Fostering
Parents of adoptive families and foster families are no strangers to conflict. Not only are they the new parents of kids who need the love and attention from them, but they’re also trying to build a family dynamic that benefits everyone.
Families have to work together to adjust to new situations, and adoption and fostering are certainly new situations. From introducing the child to new siblings in the family to introducing the child to the other extended family members, there is a lot to digest and deal with for everyone involved.
Adoption can strain a marriage because a child is new, and one parent may be struggling to support the other in their feelings if they don’t align.
Understanding an adopted or foster child’s background as much as possible is vital for helping that child transition into your family. It’s also important to be mindful of the attention and focus you put on the child as as not to seem like they are favored from your other children’s perspective.
Find a Family Counselor
Other things also affect the well-being of families in these situations, and the lives of everyone involved are affected. Both the child and the parents should seek counseling to build helpful, positive, and loving relationships if conflicts cannot be resolved amongst themselves.
Counseling can also teach your partner what to expect regarding feelings of negativity and how best to deal with these issues as they arise.
Family Issues are Normal
Family relationships are complicated. Anywhere there is a lot of love, there is also some conflict. A parent may end up in conflict with a child, and the relationship may become strained because the child rebels and the parent is struggling to understand it.
Issues happen. Families argue, fight, break up, and heal. Families of all types face battles. The world is full of well-intended people who are inadvertently hurting each other. Family issues thrive in these conditions.
Contact The Help You Need
There is no shame or need to avoid help when it is offered. You will find site after site online of resources from therapies to parenting methods to marriage advice.
This is because every single family has issues. Yours is not unique in that aspect, although it may seem like it sometimes.
When you feel lost, and the family issues you are involved in are not within your power to correct, contact someone who can help. There are professionals who specialize in family issues who can and will help you and the people you love to overcome the things that are creating turmoil in your lives.
Family issues are meant to be dealt with head-on.
The longer we ignore family issues, the more unhealthy and toxic our relationships in our family units become. Don’t wait until it’s too late and people are no longer speaking, separation is on the table, feuding is a regular occurrence, and children are traumatized.
When to Walk Away
As is the case in any relationship, there comes the point in which a partnership or relationship is too toxic to continue, and detachment is necessary.
Domestic violence, any abuse, gross negligence, and other severe issues that are dangerous to you or your children are issues that you need to distance yourself from for the sake of safety.
If you are ever in a situation in which you do not feel safe, walk away. Therapy can be discussed or considered at a point down the road, but never put yourself in danger, and be ready to call for help if you need it.
There are times when it is okay to give up, and abuse is one of those situations.
