Knowing how to flirt with a girl is not as hard as you think. Flirting is a skill; just like any other skill, you can develop and improve upon it. Even if you’re not the most confident flirt today, that doesn’t mean you can’t become more confident. It just takes some practice and a little practical advice.
So, if you’re romantically interested in a girl or you’ve just got a little crush, you’re in the right place. In this article, we’ll take on the role of dating coach and offer simple but effective flirting tips to help you transform into a more confident flirt than you ever could have imagined yourself to be!
Confidence is Key
The most crucial aspect of your approach is your confidence. Flirting with someone requires a level of confidence to be successful. If you’re confident, flirting comes naturally, even if it doesn’t lead anywhere.
Bear in mind that confidence is not cockiness. You don’t want to be overconfident – such an approach is a turn-off for many women.
Instead of trying to impress your crush with some over-the-top display of charisma, focus on staying connected with yourself. The most convincing flirts are those who believe in themselves, are self-aware, and believe that they inherently have something to offer the object of their desire.
Confidence can be hard to come by; if you’ve ever lacked it, you will get frustrated. Approaching and trying to flirt with your crush without a foundation of inner confidence is a nerve-wracking experience and often makes us stumble, say things we don’t mean, and ultimately get off on the wrong foot.
How to become more confident
If you lack confidence today, don’t worry, it is a natural part of who you are; you can cultivate it. You can work on growing your confidence by taking small risks, offering yourself kindness and compassion, and setting small, achievable goals for yourself.
As your confidence grows, you’ll notice that you’re less concerned about others’ acceptance or rejection of you. That ability to detach from the outcome of flirting is what makes it more likely to be successful.
How To Flirt With A Girl In 10 Simple Ways
1. Use the correct body language
Body language is a type of non-verbal communication. The way we carry ourselves, our posture, how we walk, our facial expressions, and our tone of voice are all means of communication that go beyond the literal meaning of the words we use.
Flirting is all about body language. The key to a successful experience is using confident and open body language. We mentioned the importance of confidence when you approach your crush. You can make your crush see that you are confident through your actions, so practice your moves.
When talking to your crush, your body should be facing her direction. The following actions send a message that you’re not interested in her:
- Your body is facing another way
- You’re not looking into her eyes
- You’re crossing your arms or legs
- Your face has a flat expression
You may think that playing it cool is the way to go – some men approach flirting with a disinterested or mysterious tact – but it’s much healthier and even more fun to keep things positive and open.
Body language flirting tips
Instead of sending a message of disinterest, show her that you’re willing to pay attention and listen with the following tips.
- Lean closer when she speaks to you
- Maintain eye contact during conversation
- Orient your body in her direction
- Use touch (a light tap, a hug, or holding her hand)
- Offer her a charming smile (but don’t constantly smile, that can be unsettling)
- Smile with your eyes
2. Be curious about her
Flirting isn’t just about cheesy pick-up lines. Real flirting, the type that leads to more intimate moments, can happen in any conversation. It’s less about what is said and more about the chemistry and shared energy between two people.
Instead of relying on pick-up lines and clichés, be curious about her as a person. Please get to know her by asking her open-ended questions and ensuring that you don’t do all the talking.
Open-ended questions are those that don’t have a yes or no answer. Instead, they offer a person a chance to tell a personal story and give a background to their response.
A simple example is ‘What was it like growing up in your family home?’ or ‘How do you feel about your job?’
3. Compliment her
Compliments are essential when it comes to flirting. They give the receiver a confidence boost and make them feel positive emotions toward the giver.
Notice what she’s wearing, how she carries herself, or how she treats her friends and loved ones, and let her know that you notice. She’ll appreciate that you took the time to pay attention to her.
You can compliment her looks and the outfit she’s wearing, but don’t rely exclusively on the physical aspect. Notice more profound things about her, such as how she thinks, her passions, and her talents. Noticing and complimenting her on these aspects of herself is a great way to flirt because it shows your interest in her.
4. Make an effort
Women appreciate a man who knows how to take care of himself. So, if you want to impress your crush and make flirting a lot easier, make an effort to look good. Look your best, wear some nice cologne, and be well-groomed.
Of course, people have different tastes. It’s not all about looks, but sprucing yourself up shows that you’re interested in showing off your best, and that’s sure to leave a good impression.
5. Know when to stop
Flirting should be fun and playful. There should be no expectation for things to go further, even if the conversion content is a little tongue in cheek.
One surefire way to lose rhythm and ruin your chances with your crush is to persist. Learn to discern whether she’s flirting or just being friendly. Tune into her energy and see if she’s interested in keeping the conversation going.
It doesn’t necessarily matter if she’s not interested – we can’t win them all!
If she seems into you, then keep playing with energy between you, but if she doesn’t seem to respond to you or you sense she may be looking for a way out of the conversation, let her go. That’s not fertile ground for a successful flirt.
6. Mirror her
Mirroring is one of the most effective ways to hold someone’s attention and engage them. Mirroring is the act of complimenting someone else’s body language.
If she’s looking into your eyes, maintain eye contact. If she sits tall, check and correct your posture. If she reclines, recline.
Now, remember that mirroring should be subtle. Please don’t make it so obvious that it makes her feel uncomfortable. Keep it subtle and light, and try to match her energy.
7. Use humor
If you can add a touch of humor to your conversation with a crush, you’ll get your game up significantly.
Jokes, funny stories, and a quick wit make a good impression, keep everybody laughing, and help people bond.
According to research, trying to make someone laugh can signify romantic interest. Even if she doesn’t know you are interested now, keeping the humor and wit alive will give her a clue.
If the girl can sense your interest and has a little crush on you as well, she now has the opportunity to return your flirty energy.
8. Get to know her friends
As mentioned earlier, confidence is king when it comes to flirting.
One simple way to impress her with confidence is to introduce yourself to her friends.
If she’s already interested in you, then she’s probably told her friends about you.
So, make a good impression on her friends, and win them over to your side.
9. Tell her how you feel
Sometimes the best approach to flirting with your crush is to make it clear that you like her.
You don’t have to pour your heart out or send her a long winded-message about it. Sometimes, a simple ‘Hey, I like you..’ is enough to get the ball rolling.
You don’t even have to have serious intentions when telling her how you feel. Sometimes you want her to know you’ve got a crush.
It’s still light and flirty as long as you don’t have any expectations for her to feel the same. If she does feel the same, you’re on the same page, and your honesty will pay off.
If it turns out that she doesn’t like you back, that’s ok. Don’t get bogged down by rejection. Instead, take the experience as an opportunity to shift your energy elsewhere.
Nobody wants to waste time flirting with someone who’s not interested. It’s much wiser (and more fun) to be honest about your feelings and intentions and cut your losses if she doesn’t want to reciprocate your energy.
10. Be passionate about what you do
For many women, it’s not just the looks, the money, or the confidence that make a man seem attractive and sexy. Many women feel that the sexiest, most appealing men are those who are passionate.
So, when talking to your crush, let her know what your passions are. It doesn’t have to be your job or career, but it can be.
Maybe it’s a hobby, maybe it’s taking care of your family, or perhaps you’re passionate about taking care of yourself and living your best life.
What is it that makes you most excited? What sets your soul on fire? Share that with her and watch her eyes light up as she realizes she’s met a passionate man.
Talking about your passions is suitable for flirting because it gives you beautiful, attractive energy. You may have noticed that energy in someone else. The way one’s eyes light up, the body comes alive, and speech speeds up when sharing something one is passionate about.
Such energy is contagious – it draws the other person in, and they may even feel your passion vicariously. That’s great for flirting because it makes the other person incredibly interested in you. It also awakens in them a desire to share their passions.
How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text
Flirting over text requires its own skillset. This type of communication means a flirty body language is no longer an option.
No eye contact. No mirroring. No touch.
So, how do we flirt with our crush over text? How do we play with chemistry when confined to the words on the screen? And what are the rules when it comes to emojis?
1. Keep it short
Simplicity is key when it comes to flirting over text. You don’t want to send a long, complicated message that’s hard to decipher.
Instead, keep your flirting to one or two lines at a time.
2. Offer compliments
Be generous with compliments when texting your crush. She’ll appreciate a thoughtful compliment, and if it’s well-said and genuine, you’re sure to have her smiling at her phone.
3. Use emojis (sparingly)
Use emojis, but not too many. A smiley with its tongue out or a winking face can add an extra layer of charm and playfulness to your message. It also lightens the conversation so that it stays fun.
How to Break the Ice
Flirting is one thing, but getting yourself in a position to flirt is another.
You’re not talking to your crush yet, but you’ve seen her around. Perhaps you two have some mutual friends, or you’ve just matched with her on a dating app. If so, you need an ice-breaker.
An ice-breaker is a short statement or question that helps you start a conversation and get your flirting game on.
Fortunately, we’ve included a couple of simple but effective ice-breakers below.
1. Make eye contact
Crucial but straightforward, make eye contact with her.
If you see her from across the room and your heart skips a beat, take a second to calm down and ground yourself. Then look in her direction and try to catch her eye again.
Your ability to make and maintain eye contact says a lot about your confidence. Still, don’t stare. Give each of you a chance to break from this heated eye contact and play around with looking and not looking.
If, from the get-go, you notice a slightly annoyed face when you look at her, don’t push it.
If she wants to keep the eye contact going and invite a conversation, she’ll soften her facial expression and smile at you. If her face looks annoyed or disinterested, take that at face value.
2. Introduce yourself
Just the thought of walking up to a beautiful girl and introducing yourself may seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.
Many men imagine what it’s like to walk up to their crush confidently and assertively and introduce themselves or get an interesting conversation going.
However, such imaginations rarely become a reality. Be the exception and introduce yourself.
You can use a simple approach such as mentioning a mutual friend. ‘Hey, I’m John. I’ve seen you around and wanted to introduce myself. You know Peter, right?’
In the above example, you’ve confidently introduced yourself and shared an intention – you’ve seen her around, you have a mutual friend, and you’re interested in getting to know her.
After that introduction, all it takes is some curiosity, active listening, and humor. Carry the conversation by exploring common ground and using the flirting tips we mentioned to take things to another level.
Bear in mind that flirting too quickly is a bad idea. Establish some neutral ground first. Get to know her a little bit (but don’t ask too many personal questions right away). You can move into the flirting territory if the vibe seems to fit.
Hopefully, the tips and advice above will help you improve your flirting game.
Finally, let’s reiterate that flirting is fun and playful.
Psychologically speaking, flirting playfully offers both parties a sense of safety and security. If that sense of safety is not there, one’s efforts are unlikely to be reciprocated.
So, as mentioned, flirting properly means knowing when to stop. Flirt a little, pause, let time and feelings develop, then flirt again.
Flirting intermittently instead of all the time adds a touch of mystery as you interact with your crush, and that sense of mystery is key to getting the girl.