How To Text A Guy: 5 Great Tips In Maximizing Your Text Messaging

Want to text the guy you like but are not sure what to say? We’ve got you covered.

In this article, we’ll offer some simple but effective and amazing tips on how to text a guy you like. 

We’ll explore how to start texting, the rules of flirting, playing games respectfully, and offer some examples of flirty and sexy text messages for inspiration.

How to text a guy

Sometimes you want to text that guy, but you feel nervous. We’ve all been there. 

You go back and forth with your phone, wondering if you should reach out, or he’s already texted you, and you can’t think of anything interesting to say back.

It sounds silly, but such experiences can be stressful. Uncertainty and self-doubt are heavy feelings, and they often come up in situations with potential romantic partners. 

Texting is a fantastic platform for getting to know someone, but you should know how to use it confidently.

That’s why this article is here. We’ll help you text him from a place of confidence, which will benefit the relationship and increase your esteem and well-being.

Tips for texting guys

Texting has drastically changed how we communicate. It is a powerful tool in a relationship. Here’s a guide on how you can use this medium of communication.

1. Don’t be afraid to text first

First things first, you don’t have to wait for him to text you. You may not want to be the one that always texts first, but if you never text first, you may give him the wrong message.

Confidence is the most attractive quality in a person, so show him that you’re confident by reaching out. 

You may worry that he won’t respond, but that’s not your problem. If he doesn’t respond, that doesn’t say anything about you and your worth.

Texting him first demonstrates a level of self-confidence that will instill confidence in him about you. Many guys worry about being ‘too fast, too soon’ or being ‘too forward,’ so an opening text from you will help put him at ease.

‘Hey, I was just thinking about you. How are you?’

If you’ve already met him in person and got his phone number, mention something about the time you met. You don’t have to try hard to flirt just yet.

‘Hey, it was nice to meet you, you made a good impression. How are you doing today?’

How To Text A Guy

2. Be cool

If you decide to text him first, but he doesn’t respond, don’t panic. 

There may be many reasons why he doesn’t respond. Perhaps he’s busy, thinking about your message, or he doesn’t want to talk. 

Either way, don’t push it. 

If he doesn’t text back, don’t send another text. Flooding his phone with messages is a surefire way to send him running. 

3. Ask interesting questions

Though texting is a low-effort activity – we always have our phones with us, and they’re often in use – it still takes some mental energy to have a text conversation. As such, it’s important to make those conversations interesting. 

Boring texts make it hard for both parties to stay motivated to hold the conversation.

If you already know a little bit about him, use that knowledge to your advantage. For example, if you know he trains for a sport on Saturdays, text him that evening, and ask how the training went.

If you know he’s got a big project coming up at work, ask him about his progress and how he feels about it.

Consider how nice it feels when someone shows genuine interest in you and your life. 

Offer that to him to show him just how much you’re interested. It will help you come across as caring and interested.

4. Compliment him

Everybody loves a good compliment. 

Compliments over text can appear flirty, and you may want to come off that way, but it’s not all about flirting. 

Praises give us a confidence boost, so if you can offer him a genuine compliment, you’ll make him feel good about himself. As a result, he’ll be more likely to want to talk to you. 

Remember that there’s a fine line between genuine compliments and being ‘too nice,’ so keep your compliments real and not for the sole purpose of getting him to like you.

5. Share your hobbies and interests

Use your text conversations as an opportunity to get to know each other better. 

If you’ve met on an online dating app but not in person, it’s wise to establish some common ground and mutual understanding before you meet.

Share with him details about your life, such as your hobbies and interests. Tell him why you’re interested in what you do and how it started.

Bear in mind that you shouldn’t overload him with information. Texting is a two-way street. 

Show interest in him and ask about his hobbies, but don’t share your entire life story if he hasn’t shown any interest in hearing about it.

How To Text A Guy

How to flirt over text (and keep a guy interested!)

Once you’ve broken the ice and begun an interesting conversation, you may want to spice things up with some playful flirting. 

Texting in the first place can be daunting, so save the flirting until you’re ready. When you feel ready to get your flirting game on, consider the tips and advice we’ve included below.

You can’t rely on body language, facial expression, or tone, so around 80 percent of communication is lost. With that remaining 20 percent, the words alone, how do you flirt successfully? 

Whether it’s a new guy or your partner in a long-distance relationship, flirting is not always easy, but it’s not hard when you apply the following advice:

1. Pile on the compliments

Earlier, we mentioned that compliments are a great way to start texting that guy. However, if you want to flirt with him (and make sure he knows that you’re flirting), pile on the compliments.

Mention qualities of his physical appearance that you like, such as his kind eyes, his strong jawline, or his masculine fame. 

Remember to include non-appearance-based compliments too.

Offer non-physical compliments

Tell him that you like his sense of humor, respect his career choice, or appreciate how much he cares for his family. 

Physical compliments get things going, but if you can compliment other aspects of his life, you’ll show him that you’re genuinely interested and paying attention to him, which is the greatest compliment.

2. Use his name

One of the simplest but most effective flirting techniques is to say his name. 

It may sound too simple to be effective – we hear our name mentioned many times daily. 

Still, when we hear it from the person we like, it sounds different. It gives us a warm buzz of acknowledgment and makes us want to hear that person repeat our name.

If he says something funny, acknowledge his humor and mention his name. For example,

‘You’re so funny Luke!’

‘Tim, you crack me up!’

3. Tease him

When you flirt with him, he may get the impression that he has you. Don’t let him think that it’s that easy. 

Flirt with him, but know when to pull back. If you over-flirt, you demonstrate that you’re giving it away easily. He may still be interested, but you’ll make him interested for the wrong reasons. 

He may even feel that flirting and casual fun are all you’re looking for.

Flirt with him, but demonstrate your value. Pull back and leave him wanting more so he’ll be excited to text you again later and even more excited to meet up.

4. Be original

One or two messages telling him he’s handsome are fine. He’ll appreciate your compliment. 

However, don’t send the same flirty texts all the time. If you keep telling him he’s handsome, the value of that compliment decreases.

Try to find genuine aspects of him that you like and offer compliments based on those. Make them original and authentic, not repetitions and carbon copies.

5. Use humor

Humor is a key element in flirting. 

Don’t be afraid to tell him some jokes or even tease him with light-hearted insults. If he’s got a good sense of humor, he’ll appreciate your jokes and will likely make jokes in return.

Light-hearted insults back and forth are a great way to bond!

If he doesn’t like your humor and responds with dry texts, don’t worry. Someone who doesn’t appreciate your sense of humor is not someone about whom you should worry over whether they like you or not. 

The right person for you is someone who gets your jokes.

How To Text A Guy

6. Use emojis

Since texting doesn’t allow for body language as in real life or tone as in phone calls, it helps to use some emojis to convey meaning. 

A light-hearted insult stays light-hearted when you end with a tongue-sticking-out face but can appear rude and offensive if you end it with a full stop. 

A kissing face emoji can make all the difference to a simple ‘hey, how are you?’.

Examples of how to text a guy

If you’re still unsure of how to put your thoughts into words, here are some sample messages you may use…

Flirty text messages

If you’re stuck for something to say to him, take inspiration from the sexy and flirty texts we’ve included as examples below.

  • ‘I’ve been thinking about you all day…’
  • ‘When I think about you, I smile..’
  • ‘Your pictures look amazing. Are you a model?’
  • ‘You look like my next boyfriend.’
  • ‘I love to see texts from you on my phone.’
  • ‘I don’t usually like making small talk with people, but with you it’s easy.’
  • ‘I like your smile.’

Sexy text messages

  • ‘I had a dream about you last night…’
  • ‘I can’t stop thinking about our night together.’
  • ‘I want to touch you.’
  • ‘I wish you were here with me right now.’
  • ‘My body is craving you.’
  • ‘You wanna come over and not watch a movie?’
  • ‘I’ve got something planned for us later, but it’s a surprise.’
  • ‘I hope you’re ready the next time I see you!’


Texting guys without making them lose interest is a skill. Just like any other skill, you can learn and improve. 

At first, the small talk with an early text conversation can make it seem like he will lose interest, so you may worry about keeping the guy interested.

Dating coaches will tell you that the best way to keep him genuinely interested is to demonstrate confidence and belief in your value. That means not being afraid to text him first, willingly flirting with him, and holding back on flirting with teasing him and leaving him wanting more.

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