21 Red Flags In A Man To Watch Out For And Avoid At All Costs

Red flags in a man can often be difficult to spot, especially if you’ve been single for a while and are actively looking to begin dating again. However, the sooner you spot the signs the easier it will be for you to protect yourself from possibly another heartbreak.

In some instances, we may get a gut feeling as women, that there is something off with our new partner. Yet for one reason or other, most of us choose to stick it out and sadly end up getting hurt.

Today we’ll look at major red flags from a guy that are easy to ignore, yet truth be told, they mean that you should run for the hills.

Relationships and Couples Therapy

21 Red Flags In A Man To Never Ignore

Psychologists say that we ignore red flags because we’re afraid of disappointment.

We desperately want to fall in love because we sometimes ignore the warning signs and cling to that rosy feeling we often get after the first date. We tell ourselves that the character flaws aren’t serious and that the person can change or will get better over time.

Below are some clear warning signs that you should look out for in a relationship. These red flags suggest that the person is not the right fit for you and you’re probably better off looking for someone else, who will treat you well and love you for who you are.

1. They Can’t Stop Telling You How Perfect You Are

When someone can’t stop telling you how perfect you are, it may sound like a dream come true.

However, it can often be a red flag because essentially your partner is putting you on a pedestal and they don’t truly see you for who you are. Instead, they see you as a projection of some perfect idea of who they want you to be in their head.

Whenever you shatter those expectations by simply being yourself, they become impossible to console.

2. They Don’t Expect Much From Themselves, But Expect A lot From You

Some women end up finding themselves in relationships where they are constantly giving and their partner constantly just takes. Often this behavior can be labelled entitlement – where some men take more than they give but divert the issue when a partner tries to open up about their concerns or needs.

A man who only wants to take, will end up treating you badly. They’ll want you to do all the work and you end up carrying the relationship. From their perspective, relationships are all fun but do not require them to put any effort in.  Such an unhealthy view of love will often lead to a toxic relationship.

3. They Haven’t Lived On Their Own Before

The truth is that some life experiences are simply impossible to make up for. Generally a man who’s spent the majority of his life living with his parents, partners or roommates, often doesn’t have the experience to be able to commit to a life with a partner in a relationship.

It’s a common issue; he doesn’t know how to clean up after himself, he can’t cook, he doesn’t wash dishes or do laundry. Men often struggle to manage a household because for a long time, someone else has been doing it for them.

While this comes as no surprise when men are teenagers, it does not go well in adulthood. Men should be capable of managing their own lives.

This is a relationship red flag because it’s not your job to teach a man how to function in the real world or to take on that responsibility of continually cleaning up after him and managing the household etc. There should be equality in the household chores, especially if you also work full time.

4. He Always Tells Great Stories Where He’s the Hero

Quite often we take this as harmless behavior because everyone enjoys a good story where they are the hero. However, experts indicate that it should be considered concerning because it narcissistic behavior.

The average person does not need to constantly talk about what an outstanding human being they are. We all have our downfalls, and make mistakes in life. So, if he loves telling cool stories that always paint him as a hero, then this is an indicator of classic narcissist behavior.

5. They Are Unable To Apologize

There are unfortunately men who believe that when they make a mistake they shouldn’t need to apologize. Somehow they attach this trait to masculinity, and they refuse to apologize because they don’t want to be held to account.

The truth is that everyone makes mistakes and should be able to own up to their poor behavior and apologize for being hurtful. When you end up in a relationship with someone that is not able to say sorry, you’ll end up continually being hurt.

They cannot handle conflict in a healthy way because the most challenging thing for them to do is to apologize. Therefore, this results in things getting swept under the rug, rather than being resolved.

Often such men are unable to take criticism and cannot disagree with others peacefully. In the long run, their refusal to apologize ends up being an opportunity to avoid personal development.

red flags in a man

6. He Wants You With Him 24/7

If he wants to spend every second of the day with you, then this is a strong indicator that he’s clingy and needy. You both have your own lives to live and the last thing you want is to be with someone that’s glued to your hip.

Often this type of behavior can begin to reflect a darker side, which results in him controlling where you go, who you spend time with and what you do. This can ultimately make you lose your identity.

7. They Refer To Other Women as “hysterical” or “Crazy”

How a man talks about other women can be a red flag that you simply mustn’t ignore. Since we live in a patriarchal society, some men unfortunately still have deep-seated misogyny.

Experts reveal that men who discuss women negatively and describe them as being “hysterical” or “crazy” are more sexist than they’re willing to admit.

Sadly, it can be easy to miss hidden misogyny because it’s become ingrained within our culture. Yet, one way men shut women down is by complaining that they’re being dramatic, crazy or acting hysterically.

These types of men will eventually take an emotional toll on you.

8. They Always Blame Their Exes For Their Past Relationship Issues

Have you ever dated a man who kept ranting and raving about how terrible his ex was? If your new partner spews venom at his former lovers every opportunity he gets, then it’s a sign that they are more than likely the problem. Especially if he is always the victim in the story.

This is a red flag because it is important for people to be accountable for their actions and the part that they may have played, which resulted in the breakup. Often when there are unresolved issues relating to an ex, they can also be projected on to the new relationship, which isn’t healthy for anyone.

If he is constantly blaming his ex’s for all of his issues, it may not be long before he is doing the same thing to you.

9. They Are Never Single

It is common for some people to jump from relationship to relationship. Essentially, they never seem to be single.

These types of men, who are constantly in a relationship, may seem highly attractive to you because it must mean that they are a great partner, right? Well, not exactly, someone who is never single is a red flag because it demonstrates that they have codependency issues.

When we are single, it provides an opportunity to learn a lot more than we may have when we are constantly with someone. Therefore, people who jump from one relationship to another are actively bypassing their growth.

As a result, they seem to get their confidence from being with someone.

So, if they can’t handle being alone, then rest assured that there’s nothing you can give them that will help them be content and confident in themselves.

10. He’s Constantly Compliments You And Is Overly Affectionate

This point isn’t a hard and fast rule. Some guys have a gentle or kind personality and enjoy giving women and those around them compliments.

However, this is not the case for all men. For those men that do not possess this personality, being overly affectionate can be a sign of love bombing.

Love bombing is a tactic that emotional abusers use to make their victim feel attached to them. It works by making the victim feel really good for a moment and then withdrawing that affection to get what the abuser wants.

This tactic is often known for involving extremely over-the-top gestures. For example, sending you inappropriate gifts at your workplace, such as dozens of bouquets instead of one bouquet of flowers.

In most cases, love bombing is undertaken by a narcissist with the intention of drawing in and gaining control over the victim.

It may seem harmless at first, but sadly it is far from harmless behavior. This is because it is often done with the intention of manipulating the victim or making them think that they owe the abuser something.

11. He Is Too Close With His Mother…Way Too Close

There’s nothing wrong about a guy who has a healthy relationship with his mother. However, there’s a fine line between a healthy relationship and one that’s uncomfortably close.

What we are referring to  is a man who takes incredible pride in being called a “mama’s boy.”

In these types of situations, it is clear that the mother has too much control over his life. Mama’s boys often do not make great partners within a relationship.

12. They Complain Endlessly

It’s one thing to open up about your private sentiments freely, but it’s another to constantly and endlessly complain. You may not spot this at first, but a person who does this on a date, especially a first date, will end up pouring an endless stream of negativity and personal problems into the relationship.

Watch to see if this behavior persists and if it does, choose to walk away.

Someone that is a serial complainer will find issues and problems with everything that they encounter. The sad truth is that before you know it, you will become the primary object of their daily complaints.

13. He is a self-proclaimed “old-fashioned guy”

Are you looking for a partner who expects you to constantly be in the kitchen? That’s what an old-fashioned type of guy will do to you.

Guys who proudly proclaim to be old-fashioned have a pretty backward way of what they expect from their potential wives.

They strongly hold on to very traditional gender roles and often have a habit of being controlling and misogynistic. They tend to mask their superiority complex under their good old fashioned boy appeal.

Red flags in a man

14. He Wants You To Meet His Family Immediately

When a man insists on introducing you to his family and you haven’t even made it to the end of the second or third week of dating, then it can only mean two things. Either he is too attached to his family, which can mean that he is a mama’s boy or he’s getting serious way too fast.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to truly get to know someone when you begin dating them. Make sure that you have solid boundaries in place to ensure that you are comfortable and in control of the pace of how things are going.

Take note that if he’s rushing it, then you should probably be cautious.

15. They Can’t Stand Being Told ‘No’

The reality is that ‘no’ is a hard word.

But in some situations such as dating, women sacrifice a lot and let their partners get off with quite a bit when they don’t take ‘no’ very well. This can become a problem when you exercise your right to say ‘no’ and instead of respecting your decision, he tries to convince you to change your mind.

Often it is not overt and can be quite subtle or even playful. However, the issue is that before you know it, all of your boundaries have eroded.

Unfortunately, most guys don’t take “no” well. But a healthy relationship is one where you respect each other’s boundaries.

Experts suggest that you can possibly avoid an abusive relationship by watching how your partner initially reacts when you say “no”.

16. They Are Unkind

In today’s society there is a focus on men being tough and they aren’t necessarily taught how to be kind. You may have even noticed that finding a kind man can, at times, be difficult to do.

Some men play nice in an effort to avoid offending anyone. However, most of them are not going out of their way to help other people either.

This is a red flag because if a man cannot go out of his way to show kindness because he feels that it’s an attack on his masculinity, then he will also not be supportive in the relationship.

A man who is a huge supporter of patriarchy is often going to struggle with kindness, especially when it matters most.

17. They Have Ulterior Motives When It Comes To Helping Others

You may find yourself dating a guy that gives off the impression that he is compassionate and kind only to discover that he’s simply focused on getting what he wants.

Some men have mastered the art of putting on a show where they appear kind, thoughtful, and caring. They perceive that when they are seen this way, they’ll do better with women.

The issue here is that unfortunately you can’t trust a man who is only kind because he believes he can get something out of it. You want to date a guy who chooses to be kind even when they won’t get anything in return.

You don’t want a man who acts like a jerk and is unkind when he discovers that there’s nothing in it for him.

18. He Frequently Showers You With Gifts

Even though it sounds so good to be in a situation where you are continually receiving gifts from your partner. We unfortunately exist within a time when men showering women with gifts often occurs because they want to get something in return.

Some men believe that they can buy intimacy, love and affection. So, these gifts often come with strings attached. This is a red flag and something to be aware of.

19. He Constantly Brags About How Chivalrous He Is

This may come to many as a surprise, but according to relationship experts, a man who constantly brags about his chivalry is a red flag.

Men who constantly bear the “Mr. Nice Guy” trademark often see women as objects and unfortunately, do not see women as equal to themselves. To them, women are there to provide services for their pleasure.

20. He’s Overly Happy And Can’t Stand Negative People

Who doesn’t like a happy man with a positive outlook on life? Well unfortunately, a number of experts don’t.

When someone is overly happy and seems to always wear that oddly corporate “smile happy” look, chances are that he’s being  inauthentic so that he can manipulate others and to get what he wants.

When a man responds to conflict or to your concerns by making you feel ashamed for not being positive or he tells you that he doesn’t want to be with someone who creates drama in his life, what he is actually saying is that he wants to date based on his terms.

He doesn’t want to be concerned with your needs, especially if they will inconvenience him in any way.

When you raise your concerns with him, he will probably dump you regardless of how long you have been dating because he views the situation as an inconvenience to him. 

21. He Often Possesses Childish Mannerisms

Childish mannerisms can at times be cute. However, the cuteness wears off quickly when this behavior is a regular occurrence.

For example, he spends endless amounts of time on social media, hours playing video games, can’t control his spending, throws tantrums when you try to discuss anything with him or when he doesn’t get his way.

Sometimes these childish behaviors even involve refusing to move out of his parents home. This behavior is not attractive in a man and is a major red sign.

Relationship & Couples Therapy

The Bottom Line

Some women feel like all of the men that they meet are the same and it is inevitable to be treated poorly.

However, the issue may simply be that you are falling for the wrong type of guy. The good news is that the tips provided in this article can help you catch the red flags early, which will ultimately save yourself a series of heartbreaks.

2 thoughts on “21 Red Flags In A Man To Watch Out For And Avoid At All Costs”

  1. The biggest red flag is a man who still lives at home with his parents, regardless of his reasons. Even living with roommates is better than living with his mommy and daddy. Don’t ever get into a relationship with such a man, unless he is very young and just living temporarily at home because he is attending the local college full-time. That’s the only acceptable reason. Otherwise, he is emotionally stunted, immature, or enmeshed with his mother. Run like hell.

    1. Not everyone guy who still lives with his parents is that way. Some cannot live on their own or with others for monetary reasons, or that they simply just don’t like other people. What about people who have to live with their parents to take care of one of their parents.

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