Some of us hold out for an ex.
They left, or we broke up with them, but deep down, we hope they’ll return.
Even if they don’t come back, we know we’ll get on with our lives, but there’s anxiety in not-knowing if it is indeed the end of the relationship.
Will they come back, or won’t they? Is it best to just move on, or should you wait for them?
In this article, we’ll look at common signs that show your ex is never coming back after the relationship ends.
Don’t be disheartened if you notice these signs – let them be an invitation to let go of that person and start moving on with your life.
Remember that it’s not necessarily you or them to blame for the end of things – they may have many personal reasons why they don’t want to restart the relationship.
Later we’ll also look at signs that your ex may come back. Again, don’t hold on to the possibility; just use these signs as precisely that – signs. These are not future predictions but speculations based on that person’s behavior.
Signs your ex is never coming back
Below we’ve included seven evident and subtle signs that your ex is never coming back.
If you notice these signs in your ex’s behavior, don’t fret.
Let them be your motivation to move on with your life and stop spending your precious time and energy on someone who no longer wants to be with you.
Life is far too beautiful, random, and broad for you to narrow yourself in the hopes of an ex returning. So, let’s explore the signs.
7 Clear signs he will never come back…
Your ex is probably not coming back if:
1. They block you on social media
If your ex has blocked you on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms that connected you, that’s quite an obvious sign that they’re never coming back.
Blocking someone’s social media is a great way to help us forget about someone and move on from them. Doing so helps because we don’t see that person on our phone by accident. We don’t see what they’re doing and who they’re with; we think about them less.
As such, if your ex has blocked you, it means they want to move on from you. They don’t want to stay up to date with what you’re doing. For them, the relationship is over, and they don’t want to be reminded of it.
Understand that you don’t need to take it personally if your ex blocked you – it’s just a way for them to move on more effectively.
If they’ve blocked you, it’s best to take the hint and stop trying to contact them. They’ve expressed through their actions (blocking) that they don’t want to communicate, so respect their wishes and take it as an incentive to move on too.
2. They tell you to move on
It can be hard to hear an ex telling you to move on.
If you’re not ready for the relationship to end and you secretly (or not so secretly) yearn for that person back in your life, then hearing ‘move on’ can be heartbreaking.
Still, be grateful for the ex who tells you to move on. They’re honest enough to tell you that things are over and it’s time to move forward to other things, people, and places.
Sometimes an ex won’t tell you to move on but will keep you wondering. They may even play with your feelings by hanging out and being intimate with you with no intention of actually rekindling the relationship.
The one who tells you to move on respects your time and space.
3. They move far away
If your ex has moved to a new town, city, or country and meeting up with them is not easy, it’s unlikely that you two are getting back together anytime soon.
Consider all the factors included in moving to a new place, especially if it’s far.
Your ex has a lot on their mind, plans for the future, and a new sense of adventure if they’ve moved away.
They’re more than likely looking for other ways to move forward with their life, not backward, so rekindling an old relationship probably isn’t on the cards.
To rekindle a relationship requires time, patience, and proximity. If they’re not around, it’s going to be incredibly hard to meet those requirements.
4. They have a new partner
Let this be a huge sign that your ex is never coming back.
As much as you may want them to return to you, to rekindle the relationship you once had, understand that they have different plans for their life.
You can want them back all you like but be ready to accept the fact that they’re not going to be yours.
If they have a new partner or are just dating, take that as a sign to move on too.
Don’t hang on to someone who doesn’t want you just because you think that maybe, someday, they may come back. Realize that they’re moving on with someone else and give yourself permission to let them go.
5. They don’t care if you have a new partner
A clear sign that your ex has moved on and has no intention of getting back together is that they don’t care if you have a new partner.
An ex who wants you back or is at least considering rekindling the relationship will be curious about your current relationship status and will prefer if you were single.
So, if they have no interest in your current relationship status or don’t even blink an eye when they see you with a new lover, that probably means they don’t want to get back with you.
That’s fine because you’re dating or you’re already with someone.
Consider investing in that new friend/relationship more fully, rather than keeping one eye on your new person and one eye on your ex.
Don’t let your lingering or residual feelings for your ex and the hope that they’ll come back ruin your current and future relationships.
6. They avoid your friends and family
Your ex sees your best friend in a coffee shop or your brother at the grocery store. They don’t approach to say hello but go the opposite way.
They look or walk the other way, don’t make eye contact, and pretend they didn’t see them. Why?
Because those people are closely connected to you, they don’t want much to do with you anymore.
Talking to your friends or family members may mean talking about you, and if the relationship didn’t end well or they’re simply trying to move on, they probably don’t want that conversation.
7. The relationship was unhealthy
Healthy, romantic, familial, and platonic relationships are the foundation of health and happiness.
So, if you and your ex didn’t have a healthy relationship, whether that was anyone’s fault or not, then you’re probably not getting back together after a breakup.
Unhealthy relationships take a toll on the mind and body, and once they’ve ended, one or both partners usually realizes how unhealthy or destructive the situation was.
That being said, toxic relationships, by their nature, are not healthy.
As such, partners who are not a healthy match may be on and off, breaking up and getting back together over the weeks, prolonging the pain of the mismatch for immediate gratification or temporary comfort.
Clear signs your ex will eventually come back
Sometimes an ex isn’t an ex forever.
Many couples go through breakups and eventually rekindle the flame.
Perhaps the breakup was premature, maybe things were said but not meant, or perhaps you’ve both matured to a new stage of life and are ready to try again.
Below you will see some common signs that an ex may eventually come back.
1. They always talk to mutual friends about you
If they’re always talking to mutual friends about you by asking how you are, what you’re up to, and who you’re seeing, they’re clearly still interested in you.
They may want to know what you’re doing with your life because they want to be in it again.
2. They reach out
If your ex reaches out to talk to you, they may be interested in eventually getting back together. That’s not a serious sign of their intentions because it may simply be that they want to check-in.
However, an ex who doesn’t want to get back together is unlikely to reach out regularly.
How they speak to you when they reach out is telling. If they want to stay friends, they’ll ask about you, your friends, and your family, offering some support if you’re going through a hard time.
However, if they want to rekindle things between you two, they may bring up pleasant memories from the relationship. They may focus on the good times you two had together to remind you.
3. They regret the breakup
Sometimes couples, even those in a serious relationship, break up in the heat of the moment.
Tensions run high, emotions are charged, and the best solution seems to be separation.
However, when breakups happen from a heated argument, one or both partners often regret it and wish the relationship could start again.
Tune in to how your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend feels about the breakup.
How do they talk about it? Do they seem sad about it, or are they happy now that they’re single? Do they mention past mistakes and apologize? Do they imply that they’re not the same person they once were?
It’s not always easy to tell how they feel, especially if they don’t communicate clearly with you, but if you sense that they regret breaking up, then getting back together may be in the cards.
When should I move on?
Moving on is never easy. It takes a lot of mental energy, self-inquiry, self-acceptance, and self-compassion to fully allow yourself to move on from someone you once loved.
It can take a few weeks to months to even years to fully let go of someone.
The process of moving on becomes harder than it has to be when there is some hope or sign that your ex may come back.
As wonderful as that fantasy may be, it’s best to let it go.
Ultimately, it’s wiser and healthier to accept that your ex is never coming back and commit to moving on with your life.
Even if they eventually want to get back together, you’ll be a more confident, grounded, and a better version of yourself if you focus on yourself now instead of waiting for them.
Moreover, if the relationship rekindles, you’ll want to be your best yourself, not someone filled with resentment and insecurity because you waited for them before deciding to be happy.
Finally, you know it’s time to move on if this waiting and wondering about your ex is disturbing your mental health.
If you find yourself losing sleep, stalking them, and losing focus in other areas of your life, this person is not a good match for you.
It may help to seek professional advice from a therapist or counselor, or at least let your friends know what you’re going through.
Humans are notoriously bad at uncertainty.
When it comes to past romantic relationships, exes, breakups, and the potential for getting back together, it’s easy to get riled up.
Not knowing if an ex wants to get back together or entirely move on can keep you in limbo, wondering if you should wait for them, ask them how they feel, or let them go forever.
If you find yourself waiting and wondering about someone, go easy on yourself.
False hope can be emotionally taxing and takes you away from other important areas of your life.
Learn to trust yourself, and see if you can listen to that strong gut feeling that tells you to move on with your love life and release your attachment to that person.
Take some time to step back from the clinging, the yearning, the wishing and wondering, and give your time and attention to those that serve you.
Spend more time on close friends, family members, hobbies, passions, and other activities that contribute to your growth and personal development.