What Is True Love? The 12 Most Important Things to Know

What is true love? The definition of real true love can mean lots of things, and yet it isn’t easy to describe in just one way. To understand what it is, experience what makes you feel completely loved, accepted, and cherished in ways that must be felt more than spoken.

For some people, a deep commitment or support from a partner, spouse, or close friend is the definition of true love. In contrast, others may consider that true love is true only when someone accepts you completely without judgment or reservations.

Are there ways to determine what makes love true? Many people long to know the things that make love authentic and how to decipher when it is true love because it is common to get caught up in infatuation or unrealistic expectations.

These expectations don’t always lead to a strong bond or loving ideal relationship between two people. While it’s important to stay close to people who make you feel happy and confident in yourself, there are ways to “measure” or determine if your love is the real thing.

You could sit around and wonder what it would be like to truly love someone or what would it be like if you met “the one”. You could also take action by reading below which will give you an idea on how to actually experience true love in real life.

what is true love

Someone Who Loves You Authentically

Many people experience the intoxicating satisfaction of falling in love, the infatuation and the racing heart but often, this doesn’t lead to a long-term commitment. One of the most important aspects of knowing whether you’ve found true love is to share your innermost feelings and goals, including flaws and fears.

It’s equally vital to only share those feelings with someone ready to reciprocate and share the same deep feelings and shared interests. It isn’t enough to agree with everything or tolerate someone else.

Two people must be willing to get immersed in one another with a sense of compassion, empathy, and a genuine interest to get to know each other.

True Love with Another Person

Only when two people know each other authentically can they learn what true love really means and how to express it realistically. Relationships require accepting all the flaws and secrets from the right person, intending to understand and support them and contribute to their happiness, instead of trying to change or take away from who they are.

While some people have good intentions when they try to “change” their partner, this often makes the other person feel like they are not accepted or truly loved for who they are. When you are truly in love with someone, it is impossible to hurt them. 

Many people are expected to live up to others’ expectations, making it challenging to express a point of view or perspective without criticism. Keeping an open mind and showing genuine concern and care is the best way to help your partner be receptive towards you so that you can accept them.

Related: How To Tell Someone You Love Them In 14 Ways: Without It Being Awkward

True Love Means having no Ill Intentions

It’s common to be misunderstood, or hurt someone else’s feelings, though it’s essential to know that your partner doesn’t harbor any ill will or intentions towards you. It’s also crucial to feel the same way towards them and love your partner without envy or contempt.

Sometimes, negative feelings surface when they are least expected and often occur due to issues from the past, such as being mistreated as a child or lacking affection in previous relationships. When you’re truly in love, you don’t question anything.

It’s always healthy to recover from a past situation where healing and time are needed. It’s also important to be prepared for meeting the one person who will make you happy and to be able to return the same level of respect and true love in a mutual bond. Real love means letting go of past hurt and emotional situations that are no longer present.

Finding the “We” or Togetherness with Your Partner

If forming a relationship with someone is indeed valid, they’ll begin seeing their life with you in it and use “us” and “we” when talking about the future and goals in real life. True love means considering how the other person will feel, react, or adapt to changes in your life and thinking about how your goals, career, and plans will incorporate them.

Making plans together and keeping an open mind to accept a shift in direction is indicative that your partner has become a part of your life now and for the long term. When you are separated from them, you’ll long for their return and feel the emotional satisfaction and immediately feel joy.

While it’s important to retain personal space and respect the same of your partner, including them in things that make a significant difference or impact in life is one of the signs of true love in a growing and developing relationship. They are a huge part of your life so allow one another to feel included and involved on your journey to experiencing true love.

Unconditional True Love and a Caring Nature

A person who shows true love profoundly cares for their partner and will offer support for many reasons, even if they don’t always fully understand or relate to them.

One of the strongest signs of true love is unconditional love, where the care, affection, and love shown towards someone else is without any restraint or selfish objectives. True commitment is where you experience true love and entails making every effort to know your partner and respecting their goals in life.

Consistent communication and actions are essential, as this shows a genuine commitment to the relationship and valuing your partner as one of the most important people in your life. True love cannot be wholly experienced or felt without confidential love, which is not always a part of a relationship.

People make the mistake of thinking infatuation or a feeling of happiness at the moment as a sign of falling in love, even when there is little or no connection with the other person.

Why true love matters and experiencing true love

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

If your relationship feels like true love because your partner speaks kindly or promises to please or support you, it’s important to observe their actions. Anyone can promise or profess to know how to truly love someone else, but their actions and behavior are the true tests indicating their intentions and how genuine their love is.

For example, if your partner commits to supporting you through a difficult time in life, but they often find excuses to avoid events or situations where they can display or actively engage in that support, it can be an indication that you haven’t found true love with this individual.

If someone declares their love for you, always follow their words with action, and see if their expression of dedication or commitment shows how they live and relate to you. A sign of true love is when a person’s actions follow what they say, and they rarely deviate from their promises, which means you found true love.

Connections to Friends and Family

Once you begin to feel connected and familiar with your partner, you’ll learn more about their circle of friends, family, and other personal and professional life aspects to get to know them better.

This stage follows the initial feeling of falling in love, and your partner becomes a regular fixture in life, with frequent contact, conversations, and getting to know each other.

True Love is a feeling that everyone has felt at one time or another in their life. It’s a very positive and uplifting emotion. It gives you hope for the future and makes you believe that there is someone out there for everyone.

At this point, it may seem as though you found someone that’s the perfect match, though it is important to see how much they want you to meet the people closest to them in life, as they will eventually become a part of your life too.

What is true love? The answer to this question depends upon who you are asking. There are several true love connections to friends and family you want to make that you can feel good about. These can be great steps towards strengthening your relationship with that special someone.

It’s important to talk about family and friends with your partner. Find out what type of relationship your partner has with other people and how well they treat them as human being.

Focus on how well someone behaves around the mixed company and various other people, see how they are as a person, and whether their personality and nature are a part of someone with whom you share a relationship.

When It’s Not True Love

It’s not uncommon for many people to mistake specific characteristics in an individual as true, unconditional love. For example, someone may try to control or manipulate your behavior, viewpoints, or values. They may argue that they are looking out for your best interests and only voice their concerns out of love.

In this instance, control is defined as love. Still, it’s not the same, as your partner would show signs of true love by respecting a difference of opinion or adapting to someone else’s unique sense of self, without trying to enforce their perspective as better than or more valid than yours.

Manage Your Expectations in a Relationship

A partner who truly loves will not set high expectations that are unrealistic or even harmful. Some people are drawn to individuals who set these expectations, as they see it as a form of caring or wanting to help them improve when it’s merely just another form of control.

Some codependent individuals who feel the need to please others may also be drawn into relationships where they are initially treated very well. Still, eventually, their partner expects them to compromise continuously for them, even to the point where it becomes uncomfortable and abusive.

Related: How To Set Healthy Boundaries In Relationships: Practical Strategies

True Love Doesn’t Mean Proving Yourself

If your partner constantly expects you to prove your love to them or profess how you love your partner, this can be a sign that they are insecure, and in some cases, they don’t feel the same way in return. If your partner truly loves and values you, they will focus on how they treat you and make you feel loved, rather than demand or expect that you prove your feelings for them.

On the other hand, it’s possible to experience true love without asking a partner in a relationship. You can find true love with someone who doesn’t make demands or raise expectations to unreasonable levels. An authentic, truly loving relationship requires both partners’ communication, honesty, and affection equally, which takes hard work and effort. Still, it will feel like a more fulfilling relationship in the long term.

A Healthy Relationship Doesn’t Mean Sacrificing Who You Are

Some people are willing to do anything to please their partner, which may seem like a kind and unselfish thing to do. However, it may become an issue when one person relinquishes their personal choices and lets go of their values and connections to family and friends.

In serious cases, some partners can be controlled, under the guise of love or dedication, by expecting their partner to reduce or limit their interaction with coworkers, friends, and even family members. This may not occur right away, though it may develop over time if the individual seeks to gain a greater sense of control over their partner and in the relationship.

Some people will claim to know what’s best for you and that they are making suggestions or requests to show that they truly love you and want you to experience true happiness with them. They may accuse family or friends of being toxic or find other ways to discourage talking to them or sharing details about your relationship.

While this may seem like someone looking out for their partner, it’s also a way to gain the upper hand, especially if they are eager to severely limit your interaction with everyone else outside of the relationship.

Stay True to Yourself

It’s human nature to want to be accepted and loved. Some people will even go to the point where they bend and please one another beyond their expectations. It’s not selfish to be true to yourself in a relationship while still prioritizing your partner’s needs and showing them true love and commitment.

Keep your perspective true to personal goals and desires. While it’s essential and human nature to involve your partner in your life’s goals, it’s also equally vital to retain a sense of self in the world, and find your own truth and meaning, so that you can keep your sense of self and individuality, while remaining committed to your partner.

Some people may consider individual goals and related ideals selfish, which can feel like a lack of support or commitment to the relationship when the exact opposite is true. Every person deserves to pursue their personal and professional ambitions because that’s a part of the person. A genuinely empathetic partner will understand and respect these goals and have their own milestones.

Related: How To Be Happy In 8 Practical Steps: Why You Deserve To Be Happy

what is true love? real true love

Love Your Partner

Show genuine and true love to your partner, maintain eye contact and communicate often. Let them know that you’re thinking of them, even when you’re busy at work or taking a trip to visit family or friends. One of the important ways you can show true love in a relationship is to talk about everything and to express your emotions, fears, and insecurities.

Make a conscious effort to make your loved one happy and give them the feeling of being special and loved by going the extra mile to make the relationship work. True love is tolerant, patient, and strives for balance and fairness within a relationship. And it’s important that you do the same thing.

Every couple sets boundaries in a way that works best for them. Finding that dynamic connection that allows the individual to flourish while committing to someone you care about is a true sign of genuine love.

Summary: Real Love is Hard Work and a Worthwhile Journey

Finding true love can take time and effort and may not be as easy for some people or couples as others. It’s always important to know your personal goals and dreams and find someone who shares your values while supporting you in your professional and self-development endeavors.

Sometimes you’ll find true love in the most unexpected situations, and finding the right person often means being willing to accept each other in all ways. Respect boundaries and differences as you learn about them, and enjoy the celebration of common interests and passions that you share with your partner.

Every truly loving relationship experiences challenges and difficult times that can be overcome and conquered with the right attitude and support system.

Taking the time to integrate your values and goals with another person slowly is an enriching journey, where you both grow as a couple and become strong and supportive towards each other now and in the long run.

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